How To Get What You Want Every Time: ex FBI agent Chris Voss.

Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of the book Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, has developed a number of techniques for getting what you want in any negotiation.

One of his key principles is to focus on the other person’s interests, rather than your own. He argues that if you can understand what the other person wants and needs, you can find a solution that works for both of you.

Another important technique is to use active listening. This means paying close attention to what the other person is saying, both verbally and nonverbally. It also means asking clarifying questions and repeating back what you’ve heard to ensure that you understand correctly.

Voss also recommends using mirroring to build rapport with the other person. This involves matching their tone of voice, body language, and even their breathing patterns.

Finally, Voss emphasizes the importance of being patient and persistent. He argues that negotiations often take time, and that you should never give up on getting what you want.

Here are some specific tips from Chris Voss on how to get what you want in any negotiation:

Do your homework. Before you enter into any negotiation, it’s important to do your research and understand the other party’s interests. What are they trying to achieve? What are their needs and priorities? The more you know about the other party, the better equipped you will be to negotiate effectively.
Be prepared to walk away. If you’re not willing to walk away from a negotiation, you have no leverage. The other party knows that they can push you around and get what they want, because they know that you’re not going to leave. Be prepared to walk away from any negotiation if you’re not getting what you need.
Use silence to your advantage. Silence can be a powerful tool in negotiation. It can be used to create a sense of urgency, to give the other party time to think, or to simply make them uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to use silence to your advantage.
Label the other party’s emotions. When the other party is expressing their emotions, it can be helpful to label them. This shows that you’re listening and that you understand how they’re feeling. It can also help to de-escalate the situation and make the negotiation more productive.
Ask for what you want. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want in negotiation. The other party can’t say yes if you don’t ask. If you’re not sure what you want, take some time to think about it before entering into the negotiation.

By following these tips, you can increase your chances of getting what you want in any negotiation. Just remember to be patient, persistent, and respectful.